Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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