omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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