i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I could fuck to npr.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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