Swine flu. Run for my life!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
