I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
