My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
