Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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