It's like God shit irony all over that family
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
