my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Are we still banned from the library?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
