As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
