I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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