he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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