Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
