I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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