You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
