Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Where is the hickey?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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