What a fucking waste of an outfit
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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