Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
