How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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