He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
