If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
