If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
