It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize