I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
