Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
