pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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