i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
