OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
