yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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