did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
