I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
