i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
