I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
