WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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