Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
