don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
