please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I have already put on my inside pants.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
