these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
