i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
