Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
