I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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