: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
