Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
