I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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