Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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