i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Ketchup is God's man juice
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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