like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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