I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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