Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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