Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
