I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
